Sunday 19 August 2012

LIVING LIFE AS AN EXPERIMENT

This is my life experiment.  It gets pretty scary at times, so I just go there and feel the fear and uncertainty, but God and my guides are there to help me, although at times I can’t feel them, when I don’t want to really know the truth, so then I really need to find out why I don’t want to know the truth, when I do want to know and willing to feel, God and my Guides can help me.  
This life experiment,  is driven quite often, by wanting to discover the emotions inside of me that are related to healing my body from fibroid tumours.  At times I have many people reflecting something to me.  When it is fear for example,  I know I need to look at my own fears related to the transaction with this person.  
And how I truly feel about trusting the process......being the way that God wants me to come back into harmony with Truth and Love, that in the end heals my soul, which heals my spirit body, which heals my physical body.  
The process being, healing myself, at the soul level, by fully experiencing the emotions that have been unexpressed since childhood, that cause me to believe emotional untruths and act on these untruths.  Once experiencing the emotions bodily, rather than going out of my body when these feelings come up, to get away from them, involving God in the emotional process, which in reality I have found is True Prayer.   True feelings, True emotions, directed towards God, my True Parent.
When I allow these emotions out of harmony with Love,  to flow out of me, this allows my soul to have the capability of allowing new Truth, and more of God's Love to enter into my soul, causing it to expand and grow.  I experience this new Truth emotionally, and all there is left now is to act on that new Truth with faith.   Each time more of God's Love enters me, I grow in Love, and I act in faith, I am automatically more loving, without "trying" with my mind to be.  When I have to TRY to be loving, I have not really learned the Truth emotionally in my heart, I have not let go emotionally and let the old truth flow out of me..... 
I first heard about this process in 2006/2007 from my friend, a new friend, the most loving person I have ever met, you could feel the love emanating from him.  He had been on this particular path for quite a few years.  Somewhere in me what he was saying really resonated deeply, and seemed to fill in the whole picture, the missing bits, the bits of things that never made sense otherwise there was always something missing, until now.  I felt so strongly that I had found the Truth, and I still do.  The friends name is AJ Miller, also Yeshua.  Yes, the one that was alive 2000 years ago and  has learned how to reincarnate, to come back to tell us the real Truth of how it all works, and his Soul mate Mary Magdalene, Mary Luck, in this life.
If you want to see more information of what I am talking about, look into www.divinetruth.com , You Tube Divine Love Channel through Wizard Shack, God’s Way of Love org.  There are lots of Seminars and notes on every conceivable subject. 
Now if I have lost you, I am sorry that I have not been able to explain it in a way that you would accept it.  You might be thinking....that nutter who was all over the media!  I have known Yeshua for many years now,  and he is not what the media has portrayed.  If any of you have had anything to do with media, you will know that they always go in for sensationalism, and slant the story to suit what they want to say, and to sell papers and add space, and whatever else comes with it.  
I find the best way to investigate something is to really look into it...even try it on,  see how it fits, if you decide you are interested in it, then it is totally your choice, you may be missing something good on someone else's say so.   After you have had a bit of investigation, and even experimented a bit, stop whenever you want, go back to whatever you were doing beforehand, if it does not feel right for you.  When you have done some investigating for yourself, then from your own conclusions, you can work out if it makes sense to you or not, see for yourself the truth in what the media says about it being  “the cult” (which is one of those hot topics and brings fear to many of us, often blinding us with fear).  From what I have worked out, looking at the seminars and allowing myself to work through my emotional addictions,  I have become less and less able to be controlled.....by society, males and females, and spirits.  As I have lost my emotional addictions to getting approval from others and addictions to “looking good” & “looking Cool”, I have been gradually losing the fascade that I show to the world, (that I have used to protect myself from harm ) and am becoming, more open, softer, more open in my heart,  more real and authentically me!
I might seem weird when I talk about God and spirits, and many years ago, I would have thought that myself.  Yes, I have changed, but I feel the change is for the better.  I am not controlled by society and what others think that I can think, do and say.  This is not out of resentment, but out of healing emotions in me that my beliefs and fears have dictated that “I be a good girl” and just do without question what others want me to do to get approval, that I am allowed to be me, whoever I am, however I am.  Which is so opposite to what I have been as a child, teenager and young adult.  I was so needy for others approval of me. (to avoid real emotional causes inside).
Many smaller illnesses that I have had in the past have been slowly disappearing.  I had huge digestive problems that I could not put on weight, no matter what I ate and no matter how hard I tried, mould in my blood, allergies, skin troubles,   I can now sustain my weight and put weight on easily if I want to, the allergies and skin troubles have gone as well, my blood is good and my acidity levels have gone back to normal.   Painful and heavy periods, have changed DRAMATICALLY.  
I also have an Electromagnetic Wave Foot Massager (this is the few weeks I have been using it )which has also had a great effect on the bleeding as well, although the bleeding has been getting lesser and lesser.   The week of my period I use it twice a day rather than once a day, as this helps me to stay separated from the women spirits who influence me during this time. Often their influence in the past has caused me to bleed much more.
My self esteem has grown so much, I am a much more confident person, I am much better at expressing myself, to men and to women.  I have been becoming less and less under the control of spirits (I had a lot of spirit influence), depression is gone, and want to inhabit my body more and more, my body has more and more strength, I am loving it more and more, loving life more and more,  as I release lots of grief out of my soul about not loving  my life, and not loving how I was/am feeling at different ages to now.  Although there are still many emotions to work through, I feel that I have some great success so far!!!! 
Anyway, my life has become one big living experiment.  My aim is to find what emotions cause fibroid tumours, which still are there in my uterus, and effect my life.   If I am successful, then others who find that they have fibroid tumours and are seeking for alternatives, may read this and think, well it worked for her, and I can see what the emotions were in her blog, or wherever they end up finding out from, that it might make sense to others, and it may be a sign post to the way. 

If I am unsuccessful, then I guess I will be a spirit at some stage, and will learn more about it from my Celestial Friends, and when I have healed my spirit body and soul from these emotions,  and if I still have a desire to be of some help to our brothers and sisters on earth and earthbound spirits, I will be assigned a person or people to help, to perhaps help point them in the way, if they desire, that have had similar experiences to my own.  So either way, whether it is sooner or later, I will hit the nail on the head, and be able to heal myself, and help others who have similar feelings.   My aim is to show the way to get this help, for spirits, to learn how to help themselves, so that when they have healed the emotions in themselves and they still desire to help others, then they will be Truly be helpful.

It is the search for a cure for fibroid tumours that led me to this point in time.  Initially this was the drive.  Along the way, I have found that I really do have a desire to get to know God! 
That doesn’t mean that I cannot use the Medical profession and the alternative medicines practices to help support the health of my body.   I have learned a great deal about investigating illness and looking after my body myself, supporting my health, rather than being so dependent upon doctors to cure me. 
But I do need to work through my emotions and fears and judgements and beliefs in error about  the Medical Profession and medicines as well, that if we are left with no other alternative can have life saving qualities!
If I don't work through my fears, I will just get exactly what I believe in/fear.  
I tried many different ways of healing, as when I first found out I had fibroid tumours, I had been wanting to become pregnant,  and certainly not finished with my uterus.  And the Doctors could not give me any guarantees that if I went in to hospital to have tumours removed that while I was under and had signed that bit of paper, giving them the responsibility of me and making decisions on  my behalf, giving them full permission to do what they decided, not really knowing me, making these decisions for me... they could not guarantee that I would come out of it with a uterus still intact. Leaving myself in a position of having no say, and having to make the best of the consequences of other peoples power of the decision making upon my life. 
So maybe I better see if I can get into some more emotional beliefs that I have, that still cause me to live in fear, rather than to experience it!  So that I can make use of whatever is on offer to me to help support and heal my body.!!!
 If it is that I believe that I cannot trust somebody as in the example that I gave above, about not being able to trust if I would end up with a uterus intact when I woke up, then that is probably what I would get, if I did not empty the fear out of me by experiencing the emotions bodily and changing the way that I feel, what I believe, when new Truth’s enter me when I receive God’s love, as the error goes out of me.

Some times in my life that I may need to revisit emotionally, to see what fears and beliefs I still have....
I did have my tonsils out when I was 3.  Mum had her tubes tied, when I was a teenager, dad was drunk and told us that “your mother isn’t going to make old bones”.  So us 3 kids were thinking that mum was going to die.  Didn’t find out till I was an Adult, what was really going on (mum and dad never talked to us kids about anything  like that, did not really treat us like we would understand , or needed to know )  Mum didn’t know until about 4 yrs ago that dad actually told us all that she was going to die.   I have had some processing about this. I guess if more is going to come to the surface, than now will be the time, while it is in the “cooking pot” or Law of Attraction, at the moment.
Dad had a hernia operation, and developed  cancer years later, and was in hospital a few times for big operations related to the cancer.  Visiting dad in hospital, and seeing him die in hospital.  People going to hospital and not coming out, dying, or going to old people’s homes.  Absorbing emotional beliefs about Doctors and Hospitals from my family & environment.  I feel that I still have more emotions to feel into around dad's death and Doctors and Hospitals.
When I first heard that illness in your body is caused by emotions, I thought that is weird, how can that be, Doctors say it is caused by this and Scientists say that, where is the proof, that can’t be right.  If I had stuck with that belief.  I would not have healed all of the other incidental things that I have occurred in my health, to this point of time......with all of the other side effects, this very WHOLE..... ISTIC way of healing, has had a simply amazing effect on the rest of my life!!!!

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