Monday, 27 February 2012

Spirit Influence, Sexuality, Confusion, Truth of Soulmate Possibilitie.....What may stand in my way from the Truth

My partner, Tony,  & I discuss soul mates and sexuality a lot.  I often wake up the next day with a bit of awareness inside of me somewhere.......starting to get brighter inside of me, not quite the brightness of understanding fully yet,  many more lessons to be grasped in my heart when some emotional beliefs have been released and some new Truth gained in my heart, rather than just in my mind.
I have been working through my feelings of not wanting to be female, but not wanting to be male either, and not wanting any sexuality,   to put all of that in a basket in an inaccessible place, that is the damaged pre-pubescent child in me. (a bit about these emoitons, is outlined in previous posts)
But the older girl in me who is more willing to embrace her sexuality, is getting a clearer understanding in my heart about sexuality and soul mates.  My lovely  soul mate,  who I “think” my soul mate is, I love him, as a him,  part of me understands in my heart that if he was a girl, or if I was a boy, that there is something in me that still wants & desires being with that person, that soul (or in Truth a half a soul, seeing a soul is made up of 2 halves ).  That there is an asexual love that exists in me, where I do not judge my partner by the sex of the persons body, that I love that person as an extension of myself, separate in body to myself, and that it doesn’t matter what sort of body that person, or half a soul (the other half of a my soul) is in, I still will love this other half of me.
The expression of sexual love,  as a feeling of still desiring to express my sexual feelings with that other half of me, but asexual, as in it the sex does not even come into it, what the sex is, male or female, of their physical body.  So if I have emotional judgements about this, if my soul mate is a male,   my emotional beliefs about males that are out of harmony with LOVE, meaning God’s view on LOVE, need to come into harmony with LOVE.  Or if I am a female & my soul mate is a female, my emotional beliefs about females that are out of harmony with LOVE, need to come into harmony with LOVE, to truly be at one with my soul mate in the true sense. 
Emotional injuries & judgements about myself, that stop me from loving myself, will also stop me from being able to fully experience giving and recieving love with my soul mate.
I may or may not be with my soul mate right now, but I am more encouraged each time I have the desire to start wanting the Truth, and wanting to feel my fears, in the way of experiencing the emotional causes (I get a  bit of a nudge in the right direction from my Guides, as I am more willing to want their help )   In my heart, this willingness helps me be open to expose the truth of my emotional beliefs & judgments that are in error, to start to feel my soul, which is made up of 2 halves, myself and one other, my soul mate,
in the true soul mate sense,  but to also be willing to acknowledge other people as soul mates pairs and all that comes with that acknowledgement....... 

There is only one soul mate that is mine.  When I  think back, I used to think all sorts of  ideas, I thought that there were many soul mates for each person.  But if there is only one other person that is that person's true soul mate, that brings up some interesting issues. So if I am not with mine, then I am with somebody else's.  So to be loving to others, it is important to find my real soul mate, so that I not taking up the chance of other soul mates finding each other.  True acknowledgement of other soul mate pairs.  When I am out of harmony with love in my interaction with other people, who all have their own soul mate, who they may have discovered, to discover, or not yet, or to not want to discover.

God created our souls, the real us.  That soul has two parts, when incarnated, goes into two separate bodies, so I guess you could say I am a half a soul, and the other part of my soul is a half a soul, and together that makes a whole soul.   The other half of me is the only half of me, fitting perfectly together, that is how my soul was made....only one other person for me, yep I still have injuries there, I used to rant a bit to God about this, as it was convenient to believe my beliefs, as I didn't have to confront any unloving behaviours, actions or choices that I had made in my life, or emotional injuries put there in me by others.   It didn't seem to fit my own idea of a "soul mate" but who was I to argue with God! 
The combination of sexes of the physical body of whole soul possibilities being
1. a male and a female,
2. two males, or  two females.
Summing that up, heterosexual or homosexual. That's it!

Of course we have our freewill to do whatever we like with, and have inherited generationally lots of emotions out of harmony with love that affect our sexual choices.   So I guess what I am saying is, if I don't fit into either of these 2 categories, in my choice/s of partner, my choice/s are injury based.  Unfortunately, if I don’t like these possibilities, I can only really take that up with God, or just use my free will choice to ignore it.  Want to find some answers go to Divine Truth FAQ Channel on You Tube, as I am only talking about very basics of my understandings from my still not fully healed half a soul.

There are many judgements that we receive about our sex, when we are in the womb, our parents already know at a soul level what sex we are, they even know at a soul level and project their unhealed emotions & judgements about our sex & the sexuality of our created half a soul.  And we may even adjust ourselves to fit their idea of what we should be to make them happy. 

When we are born,  the parent, even just thinking disappointment in us being a particular sex. As a brief example, my mother and father wanted a boy, specifically my father, but also my mother, but she was not so upset about a girl.  This has a huge effect upon us and how we feel about ourselves, which at the time, our grief crying that would let that emotion out of us usually gets shut down, and not experienced fully until cried out – how many babes, are soothed and helped out of their crying???  Most, hey.  Many parents won’t let their children cry for long, it makes them feel uncomfortable.  They don’t want to feel the uncomfortable feelings rising in themselves, so they soothe the baby out of the feeling.

Society, & our parents  often have taboos, fears & beliefs on the subject of sexuality and project onto the children to turn out their belief of "normal"  and harm greatly with their projections onto children that a gay souls..  Obviously, if God created Homosexual souls, than God does not have any problems whatsoever with Homosexuality and loves all of the combinations of souls, loves all of his children and their free will choices too. (which may not match any of the soul mate sex combinations).  These taboos, fears & beliefs created by society and our parents beliefs get passed onto us, in the womb and as children emotionally as beliefs, often we don’t even know they are there, they have been there for so long, just have become a part of us.  But it puts an injury in us.

Often we can think with our mind, we are all for same sex, relationships, and I am including people who are in a same sex relationship here, but the inherited feelings and beliefs from childhood,  which effect the soul, and the feelings that come from the soul as amplified energy going out & being received by other people's soul having an energetic emotional effect upon them.

If I am gay, is there some belief in me that punishes myself for being what a portion of society views as being "wrong"or "bad"(whatever the personal feelings are)  in having emotional injuries about being gay being "wrong"  I will pick up on these emotional vibes coming out of other people's souls, even spirits who are not here in the physical world but are in the spirit world.   Their emotional injuries that are amplified through their souls as energy, will feel very painful to me,   I will feel their judgment of me, their disapproval that there is something wrong with me,  as being the truth, which it is not, and will later when I am older, wanting to heal this injury will, need to grieve that feeling inside that I was taught to have about myself, rather than to just be myself, without any injury about my sexuality, and of course absorb into my heart God's Truth about Gay soul's, your own rock!!!!  You are worthy, you are loved, you are perfect the way you are.

If I am heterosexual, but feel I am happy for other people to be Gay,  there could be some emotional injury in me, that came from my parents (that came from their parents, society etc ) that I don't even consciously know exists in me as an emotional injury yet, some shame, judgment, fear from my childhood.   Did I kiss the boy next door, or the girl and get “caught” by my parents, did and their shame, judgement & fear projections of my behaviour, being wrong, bad, etc....there are so many of examples I could give, anyway that's a simple enough one.  I might have been  putting up with my unloving parents/society/ views on correct sexuality, and choose to ignore, hey if my parents have this view, but I have already unconsciously  received that injury into my soul when I was in the womb, my family environment & I will absorb things from the environment of the society that I am part of.  So to heal it, I will still need to grieve the feeling that caused you to believe that gay is "bad" (or whatever the feelings) ,  and receive the Truth from God emotionally.  

No matter what sexuality we are, or we feel we are,  it is up to us to have the desire to find who we truly are, so that we can fully experience & express ourselves and fully learn about have the desire find out what these injuries are about, find and experience the cause, and to have a desire to understand in our hearts, that God loves each and every one of us, no matter how we express our free will, but if we decide to find the Truth about our souls, our capacity to feel love and joy will far exceed what we could ever think that we could ever feel.  We could feel/understand the Truth in our hearts of God's love for us, to start to Truthfully feel the love for ourselves grow, and to Truthfully love and feel the love of our one Soul mate, who is the other half of ourselves whether our soul be the same sex combination or the opposite sex combination.
Where is the Bi Sexual soul in this soul mate combination? Find some answers on the Divine Truth FAQ  Channel on You Tube.
From talks about souls, each soul has only one soul mate, so that narrows down the choices, as I mentioned above, choice 1. heterosexual, or 2. Homosexual.  

Any emotional injury that causes a deviation from the same sex soul combination or opposite sex combination, is not a soul combination, it is an emotional injury and how we may have coped in our search for "love" without healing that injury.  But God fully loves us no matter!!!

What about Trans Gender sexuality?  Again, there are so many Questions & Answers on the Divine Love FAQ channel, explained, but the same answer for bisexuality, the soul mate combinations that are possible for the other half of our soul, heterosexual or homosexual.  The feeling that we are not the sex that was assigned at birth is usually emotional injuries, unless you were born with the 2 genetialia, and the parents made decision on your behalf to remove one of them and removed the wrong one.  (there is more info on the Divine Truth FAQ Channel on You Tube )


There is great info on the Divine Truth Channel & Divine Truth FAQ (quick questions and the answers ) channel on You tube which will give much better information.  I do not wish to mis- inform anybody.  But I will leave my ramblings published here, as a true portrayal of my progress towards Truth & Love, and where I am still MISSING the mark. 
I keep harping on about spirit influence, spirits hang around if there is denial of emotions, if we have emotional injuries, we have spirits hanging around as the denial of the emotions, is like a key to our doorway.  Most of us are not aware of their existence. (that is also a choice driven by emotional injuries ). 

In my experience in all of this though, I do have the experience in being influenced by spirits, I have not experienced being bi-sexual,  or trans gender (being born one sex, but feeling that you are the other sex)  although as a child as I mentioned earlier, in relation to a previous post, that I did not want to be ANY sex really, so in that, I had emotional injuries to heal. 

Today we also have the term "Metrosexual" where the men & women dress as neither sex. They may have had similar feelings to myself as  a child.
I liked to look pretty in dresses as a little girl.  In puberty I just dressed daggy, in my teens so that nobody would notice puberty taking place and changes to my body, so those are emotions that I needed to want to work through. 

Other injuries can come about from the feelings of the parents when the baby is in the womb, when they are having sexual intercourse,  moment by moment feelings and experiences of parents, while in the womb, not accepting the changes in puberty, (parents judgements ) sexual injuries, could have had their sexual organs laughed at, the parents own feelings about males & females anatomy when looking at their childrens parts, when they are caring for them,  injuries incurred before puberty, during, after, parents hoping to have a particular sex child, these are only my thoughts of possibilities, your own feelings will be from your own experiences.  

Some girls, when not happy with being a girl, may want to be the opposite sex, or to be more tomboy like, to seek dad's approval in some way, may be searching for more of dad's attention, she may not admire female role models, her mother may have imposed onto her  no love of herself as a female type feelings ( maybe dad was thinking when she was born that he really wanted a boy child ) spirits hanging around will have similar feelings or opposite injury feelings.
Boys can become more sympathetic towards the feminine, (may not admire the way that dad is role model, and mum's emotions about dad's treatment of her ) adjust the way they behave, to be outwardly less masculine, more feminine, so as not to display so much "male qualities" that mum & other women in society may not like about males and project anger at all males at that a soul emotion amplifying level.  

Spirits that hang around will have similar or opposite emotions and commiserate with the same feelings, or have the opposite injury and try to punish the child, can influence the child in many ways that impinge on the child's own free will expression of self.

The unborn child can be influenced from within the womb. The spirit may be desperate to gain some way to re -incarnate and influence the child in the womb, can cause confusion to the developing child who has no real feeling of self right from the start of life. 

How could a spirit have an influence in a way that may be harmful?    Here is one way, having a permanent sex change.   Please, if you are thinking of having a sex change, have a look on Divine Truth FAQ Channel and Divine Truth Channel, around the topics of spirit influence, and sex change etc.   If you were not a transgender baby born with 2 genetalia, and had the wrong one removed by parents & doctors when you were young, you may be being influenced by spirits who share some unhealed emotions, and the beliefs from our parents, generational beliefs, society  and environment that were formed in as far back as in the womb, that you have no idea that are there, that have been there for such a long time, that even sound like your own voice in your mind, speaking to you. This spirit may be thinking that they are experiencing re-incarnation through you, and think they are you, and may be the opposite sex to you and want to get you to become the correct sex that they feel better being.   I don't mean to alarm you, if you are still reading,  but there is such a great lot of things that go on that we have no idea, or want to know that are going on, spirits often do not really know what is happening either.

By having a desire to truly discover what your real feelings are, to desire to fully allow your own soul and feel the truth of free will, the Gift of Life, and many other simple Truth's of God, which are different to what we believe emotionally what the truth is.  These injuries damage our soul's true free will.   Uncovering addictions to pleasing others, will help to discover if you have been influenced from the very beginnings in the womb.  Helping the spirits that have been there with you too is a truly healing way for all to receive help.
Many of us learn to shut down seeing & feeling spirits by shutting down our own soul.  This though does not shut down the influence that spirits may have with us.  Just shuts down our acknowledge ment of it.  We all have been able to see spirits & hear spirits at some time in childhood, though, for many different reasons to do with fear and not understanding, most of us learn to shut off our from it.    
As time goes on I become more aware of my addictions to spirits.  I get something from them by having them in my life, doing stuff on a level that I deny awareness of.   I want an emotional addiction to be met by them, they like me if I am “good”, so I guess I am looking for approval from that particular gender of spirit.  I do as I am told, I get a feeling from them that makes me feel good.  If I do something that is "bad" (that they don't want me to do ) then I get a feeling from them that doesn't feel good.  So there is a simple addiction for starters, looking for approval from others to validate self, and certainly learned from mum & dad, grandparents, teachers, society....  
I have spent much of my life avoiding how I feel about myself, so I don’t feel it, and rather feel the feelings of spirits or other people, because this disassociates myself,  from my own feelings.  So then my life gets influenced by what other people want me to do, they don’t even have to tell me, I just feel it automatically and do it, to get their approval and to please them, so that they like me, and not wanting to feel some feelings about making decisions for myself, wanting another to be responsible for me.   I also get influenced by spirits, some feel the same way as me and commiserate with me and I feel even worse, with the weight of their emotions as well.  This is a terrible addiction.
Other spirits want to use me to take action, to do things that actually they get some satisfaction out of.  They can influence our lives in many ways and cause us to take actions in our own lives, that give them satisfaction, eg, be it,  have an abortion, take drugs, drink alcohol, get angry at that person, get rid of that offensive sexual organ & get a better one, have sex with that particular person.  Of course from a karmic point of view, we still did that action, and from a mental, body level point of view we chose to do it, we weren't difficult to influence at all!  Willing putty.!
The spirit who connects with you through some emotions that they see in you that they can manipulate, may simply have an aversion, unhealed emotions about  your sex, and influence you into making choices that without their influence you may not have chosen, and actually be quite manipulative to you, to get some satisfaction for themselves that they have gotten even with that grudge (on somebody that you reminded them of, or because of your sexuality, or just because you are male or female)    

The spirit may be a female or male (whichever is opposite to your gender), who has similar emotions to yourself, becoming a strong influence on your life, that you feel so connected to emotionally, that you cannot really tell yourself apart form the other, you don't even know the other is there, and you feel mostly their feelings, which helps you to disassociate from your own.

A spirit can totally over cloak us, from the womb or any part of our life. The spirit may be thinking that they have reincarnated into another body, (also with  emotional injuries about being a particular sex,)  that they strongly feel they are not, or don’t want to be, and influence us.  

If you feel you have these concerns, seriously, look into how spirits can influence our lives, and how you can discover they are even there.  I will refer you to the Divine Truth You Tube channel again.

Seriously, I didn’t really believe that I was a medium as in able to hear/see spirits, but I had feelings inside, probably fears, and some knowingness, probably from what I had seen in the spirit world before I had shut myself down to such an extent, and somehow wasn't that shocked to rediscover that I could connect with spirits......although there was so much I did not know, and still a lot more yet to know, and a great deal of emotional beliefs in error.   
Years ago, when I first started to look into medium ship & spirit stuff, I used to get so easily influenced by different spirits wanting me to do certain things, that would influence my whole lifestyle, for example, an Indian lady, influencing me to do healing, and other Indian folk influencing me to cut wings off dead birds, make very specific ceremonial items, like smudge fans, etc, my own art was influenced to be of the different style of each individual Indian artist, I did two paintings in a row that were two different styles of artists. 


But I knew that this wasn’t me, it was actually other spirits.  Other people would say to me, this is who you were in a past life, but I did not feel that, although, it kind of felt good to think that, I felt a bit important, or chosen!  But where was my life, what I wanted to do with it, I started to feel a bit taken over! 
This relationship was an overt one, not a covert one. In my case, the spirits knew that they were separate to me, and knew that I knew.  As I mentioned before, sometimes the spirit doesn’t even realise that they are taking over your life,   they actually think that they have reincarnated.  If that body is something that they have big judgements about, they can influence you into even stronger feelings about your own body. Sometimes, some spirits want to just toy with you, these spirits are being very unloving, knowingly.

So my search went along the vein of, wanting to have my freewill back in my life, to not be influenced by doing what other spirits think I should do.....for example,  heal the world, heal other people, make the world a more peaceful place.  I wasn't really fixing me, or having time to notice me, I was busy doing their task that they passionately wanted to do for the world through me. My body was sick, and tired.

My search was for, how do I really “protect” myself from spirits that were hanging around with other people.  I didn’t even want to acknowledge the possibility that I could be being influenced by spirits other than loving spirits, in the same state as a lot of mediums that I noticed, that had spirits attatched to them.  Some of these spirits portrayed themselves as something more loving to the mediums they were with, & these spirits had their own hidden agenda's  and addictions that they were getting met through these mediums, that the medium knew nothing of, as they were busy in their own addiction of feeling special & better than others..... I was in the same boat, but thinking I was not, I was in judgement & addiction & not in love.

I did not want to acknowledge all of the feelings inside of me, like anger, & fear & shame, low self esteem,  I only wanted pleasant & acceptable ones & the ones that I thought should be present in me.  I wanted in my mind to be viewed as by the world as a "good girl" & better than I actually felt, if I bothered to look beyond my own facade self that I had created myself to be.  In this space of noticing other people’s spirits attatched to them that influenced them into doing not so nice things, wanting to be protected from them and judging them, ignoring that I was in the same state!  This is the state that I can be so greatly influenced in, and did not have a clue!

There have been times when I have been influenced by spirits that I have had no idea about that I was being influenced at all!!!!  So it is good for your own benefit to look into ways that you can start to even see that your life could be influenced by spirits and worth investigating ways of how you can recognise when it is happening, who’s feelings are who’s, separate yourself from the spirit.  And start to have your own life back & get to know on all levels, who you really are!
All of our beliefs that are out of Harmony with God’s LOVE, by the LAW OF ATTRACTION also attract spirits that interact and influence us.
If this resonates with you in any way, here is a site you could look into, to find out more information, about universal and personal truth, there are MP3 talks also there are some of the videos on You Tube.
As I mentioned before, I don't really know for sure if my partner & I are soul mates or whether we are in emotional addictions with each other,   to giving what the other person wants from me to please him, so that then he will please me and give me what I want, a barter system rather than love, which needs to be dealt with first and stopped to uncover the emotional reasons why we do it, just like a physical addiction to a drug.  Whether his is my soul mate or not soul mate will become apparent, as once my addiction is gone, If Tony is not my soul mate, I will no longer want that "drug" and desire something else.  Or my love will just keep growing, and we will grow closer together, not being able to resist each other.

I used to think that a soul mate, you had some sort of choice in who this person could be, and anybody that was with, that I had extremely strong feelings with when we were together as a couple, I thought “this person is my soul mate”.  And I have thought that there could be lots of potential soul mates.  I have been pretty angry at God, feeling it is not fair in being given a choice.  Feeling that my FREEWILL was being trashed big time!  .........Although, God does not stop me having a relationship with somebody else, so it is totally “my stuff” of feeling like a don’t have a choice, well I am not all through that one yet, but it will no doubt go back to something that I wasn’t allowed, as a child.
I used to think, when that person that I was with didn’t treat me how I wanted to be anymore, didn’t act how I wanted my man to act, (just expectations on males, from my part and wanting to control the man, so that I didn’t have to feel how I felt when I didn’t get what I wanted), I would get sick of it eventually, blame it all on the man, and end the relationship.  Rather than looking at myself, and seeing my addictions and expectations, and feeling into what has caused these unloving expectations and feelings & emotional beliefs in me towards males, and the reality of the attraction in the first place, that my emotional beliefs in me, that I don’t want to acknowledge that are there,  are amplified by my body,  projected out to the world.   Which attracts to me that particular type of partner who "proooooves" to me my beliefs that men are just what I have always believed them to be.......  Did I ever stop and think where did those beliefs come from?   Or I will choose a partner who have an emotion of wanting to please a woman, will cater for my every whim and fancy, and eventually turn him into that type of man who I believe men to be, but demand from them that they not be that.
Time after time, I have had the opportunities come to me, in the form of a potential partner/soulmate, but not cottoned  onto that there is a LAW OF ATTRACTION going on here, that I can either ignore it, and keep blaming the men for not being what I want to make me feel good about myself, get rid of them when they don’t do that and go on the look for another, with my same demands!!!!!!  Who is gunna go for that!  Somebody who has an addiction to being treated unlovingly by a woman.
Or I can use this LAW OF ATTRACTION, that is one of the many laws of God created to help us come back into harmony with LOVE, but noticing, mmmm, actually, there is a pattern here, mmmm in my demands I am not actually loving and I am actually projecting anger onto men, to blame, and avoid a feeling in me, of how I feel when a man does that, to start to explore what fears have caused me to do that, going right back to childhood, to experience bodily the causal emotion that is inside my soul, that has been shut down ever since & trapped inside of my cells, and not felt, at the time it occurred.  
So I guess my guides have shown me a glimpse of how it can be with our soul mate relationship!  And now I have an  inkling inside of me to inspire me to want to grow towards that!!!!!
Well, I have talked about a few related topics.  If you are still reading, then you may be interested in listening to AJ Miller, aka Yeshua, on also talks available on You tube, through Divine Love Channel.   AJ is much more interesting and in Truth in his heart to such a great extent, so I hope I haven’t been misleading in any way, but I feel I have talked mostly from what I know in my heart personally, but my emotional beliefs that are still in error, may make the delivery of it not as in Truth, as you would receive when listening to these talks by Yeshua.
I believe if you are still reading, there is a great LAW OF ATTRACTION going on for you if you have not already come into contact with these beautiful Truths from God, brought to us from this wonderful teacher!  Yes, he is here to help teach us how to grow in our souls in Love and to encourage us to have a personal relationship with God, THE WAY to truly bring this change into our souls.

LOOKING BACK AT THIS POST A FEW YEARS FORWARD IN TIME As you progress and you lose your judgements of self & judgements about emotions and about other people,  this frees your soul to become more willing to feel, and the process changes and becomes easier too as you sit in the arms of God and just allow your feelings to spill out.  It becomes non intellectual softening of yourself into your grief.  
The intellectual bits are me explaining the process in words to explain how I got here from here.  The value of how I got from there to there, aren't much relevance now,  only to look back and see where I went wrong or took a long time to get through this stuff.  I will say before you embark on the emotional processing, look at the latest information on the Divine Truth FAQ & Divine Truth Channel on You Tube, it will help your progression to come about much quicker!   

Monday, 20 February 2012

The Difference Between Our Guides and the Spirits Who Hang Around With Us

Guides are different to spirits that just hang around.  Guides are assigned by God, and in harmony with God’s Laws, depending upon our desires, of what we want to learn about. If we want to grow in Natural Love, in which we all need to have a basis of anyway, more in alignment with self reliance, not wanting as such to be believing in God, in our soul, we get a Natural Love Spirit helping us.  If we want Divine Love, as in have a desire in our hearts, soul driven,  to know God and to receive help from God, rather than be self reliant, which natural love is more about, and also the belief that we are all God, which is not in harmony with God’s truth, but God's Laws do not interfere with us exercising our freewill and our desires.  God wants us to follow our desires. It is soul driven, from what we truly want in our hearts not just what we think we want in our heads.
If we are not really convinced about God, from a soul level, what guides we attract will reflect this to us.  To a Celestial Guide, the law of Freewill is the Utmost, and can only help in a very limited way, if in your soul you decide to turn away and desire to be self relaint, but they will know the exact moment that you turn towards and are wanting this help again.
Our Celestial Guides, we tune into with our feelings and our heart, you will get a sense, a feeling of what they are “saying” (not said in words though) to you, it is a soul to soul connection.  They may at times have another spirit as a relay, who is also on the divine love path but not as developed as our celestial guide, who will help convey this information to you as to a way that suits you, and can be conveyed to you, if you have such a desire and you are not quite yet able to connect with them. So in a relay, it also depends on the spirit, or spirits conditions who are helping, as well as our own emotional filters that we "hear the information" through.
Some times from our Celestial Guides, it will feel like a whole pod of information that is just all of a sudden there downloaded, the programming you need to understand it is, to be totally open in you heart, to every feeling in you.  If you can be in your feelings, you will make sense of it, understand it in your heart, even if you cannot put words to it yet.  If you are in fear, or in your intellect, then it will be too difficult to fathom. Cellestial (8th sphere upwards)& Divine Love Path Guides(3rd, 5th, 7th spheres), will be about encouraging your soul to grow, feeling your emotions and growing your desire to be in harmony with God. 
Natural love path Guides will be intellectual(2nd, 4th, & up to & no higher than 6th  sphere) , so we will tune into them, hearing them more in our heads, they will encourage us be self reliant, and have a belief in oneness, or the universe or I am, I am God, you are God , we all are God.  Some will believe that they actually are God, believing that they are on about God, but not truly understanding what God is about, also having emotional injuries about God, that are standing in the way of wanting to know the Truth about God, but very happy just the same, and happy to help you to explore the vast knowledge that they can share with you though and help you to grow in intellect, beliving this way of developing the intellect to be the path to enlightenment.
Loving spirits, will send their love to us, behind the head where it joins onto the neck, and it wraps us in a beautiful blanket and feels so good!!! 
Some spirits, on the Natural Love Path, actually believe they are God/Gods.   They want to love you & send it to you, can bounce balls of love energy, Silver or Gold balls of love, all sorts of love coloured balls, often during meditation sessions, healing sessions,  that they will place into your crown chakra, similar to the Oneness Movement, or via Natural Love Path Healers, it will feel beautiful, but it is different to God’s Love. You will feel & know the difference, when you have recieved God's love.  There is nothing like God's Love.

Some natural love spirits  may decide to give their love to you, even if in your soul you don't want it, although the choice in your head may be saying yes, yes, yes, I want it, I want to be loved, in your soul there may be feelings and beliefs that the soul feeling is that you are affraid to recieve love.  To some Natural Love Spirits the importance is "for the higher purpose" which could just be their opinion of what is better for that person, taking matters of your life upon themselves. It is not as improtant to some to be in harmony with God's Laws, as they do not understand these Laws, thinking that they do in their minds, but not understanding that it is in their souls, and soul development that helps them to fully understand God's Laws. 
On the recieving end of the love that we can recieve from these spirits, we can think that this love comes from God, because it is so different to "love" that we have experienced from our earthly experiences.

There is nothing like God’s love, it is no ordinary love.
When we are in our soul desires, we are in connection with God.  God’s love, will come to you if you desire it truly in your soul, so only you are standing in the way of this happening or not. A feeling from your soul (true prayer) goes out to God, a desire for God’s love, that connects with God’s Holy Spirit, a flow of love that comes from God, available like a fountain, all of the time,  waiting to feel your desire for it. You get a tingly feeling around the top of your head, and it comes pouring into you, as you are feeling, it pushes out more of what isn’t love, often you will cry out some grief that comes up, as you receive emotional Truths, until you are empty and a great peacefulness, even joy & bliss, calmness, relaxation, washes through and around you, a mixure of these feelings and a feeling of the reality of having a personal relationship with with God, this entity, the True Parent of our soul, our creator who wants to Love us and teach us the Truth & about what Love really is, and when we really start to look with our hearts instead of our minds, we find that all that God has created has his hand of love, relfecting love at us.    
We Have been led to believe that Orbs are High Spirits. 
They are spirits who hang around us, with pretty poor soul conditions
A celestial spirit, we would not be able to even look at!
Spirits are attracted to us for many reasons.  Some so it seems are just magnetically drawn to us, a similarity in feelings, or opposite attractions.

Until our emotions that are unhealed in us are all emptied out of our soul, we will attract different spirits with these same or opposite injuries.
When there are other spirits that hang around, a bit like a fog around us,  it can be a bit harer to recognize when our guide guide is trying to help us, and nudge us into listening what our conscious tells us, what is truly in our hearts of what feels a right and loving action.

You can learn to seperate your own feelings from the feelings and influence of the spirits that hang around.  What am I Feeling?  Is that my own feeling?nDo I really feel that way? Is that how I truly feel? Being more self reflective, and desiring to know more about your own self.

Even harder if the lower spirit want us to feel that they are of a higher nature than they are.  We will hear their voices as our own voice, and their feelings in our heart.  Often we want to believe that we have high spirits hanging around with us, and that no lower, judging  them even as "bad" spirits could ever hang around with me!!!   

If you just concentrate on what the feelings of the spirit feel like, do they feel loving?  Can I feel them in my heart?  Do the feelings in them feel loving? What are their words sounding like, the choice of words, what they talk about, is what they suggest logically loving?  of a High Nature?  If not, they are not of a high nature, a loving guide, they are a spirit who may be in a condition less loving than our own.  

It is our job to learn to get to know the difference, by learning to know what we ourselves actually feel,  and wanting to feel how we feel at every moment, AND feel the cause of those feelings, rather than do the learned thing from a very early age, to deny our feelings, and get out of our body, as that body has that feeling in it that we don’t want to feel........that leaves our body empty for a while, that is when a spirit will connect with us easier, and we will feel how they feel instead, as it seems easier,  we are not in our own terror or grief, or shame, but just noticing somebody else’s, so much so that we think they are our feelings, and their voice becomes our thoughts. 

I ask myself, in this, what do I get out of this – I don’t have to feel my own emotional state, but this means that a spirit is then very connected to me.  Maybe I get to feel what it feels like to be sombody else, rather than me?  What do they get out of it?  They get to encourage me to do things that make them feel better, they often reward me for this, so that encourages me to not want to let go of that relationship.  They get to do things that they can’t do in the spirit world to make themselves feel better.   Ask your own self, what do I get out of this relationship with this spirit, that I am in?  Why do I want that?

They are just a spirit person who you have attracted so that both you and that spirit get to avoid some feelings.   The experiencing of the emotions that are in your own soul, both of you avoid, because you are afraid separately of your own feelings, and don’t believe that fully experiencing them will remove them from your soul, and will be far worse for you to do so. 

So listen very carefully to their words, do they sound like Celestial? High, Natural Love Spirits?  (mind you they can pretend, too ) And what do they feel like.....this is a dead give away, when you can feel them, and quite a logical way to sort it out!!!!! 
So shared unhealed emotional injuries is the attraction here, in that if each gets into an addictive relationship, each can avoid how we feel, and feel, numbed to our own feelings.
Some spirits have compatable injuries, as in the opposite to what you have, you may feel like you are afraid, a victim, the other may be controlling.  So you get bossed, the other enjoys it, in your mind, of course,  you don’t want that to happen, but in your soul somwhere, you do want it.....or that spirit would not be attracted to you. Let me explain a bit more, your Law of Attraction brings to your attention what you truly feel deep within your soul.  The relationships we attract with spirits are just like any relationship with a person in the physical.  So we need to look at our addictions with people in the physical world and our addictions with people in the spirit word as well.
Some have the same injury, so they commiserate with you, in this commiseration, by hanging around together,  you can feel better,  be avoiding how you truly feel, as in "somebody understands me & know how I feel" but still avoiding, not progressing from that comfort of that space, numbing ourselves, or you can feel in hanging around with somebody who has those feelings as well can make the feeling inside yourself even heavier & worse!!!!  And a feeling of "no hope" and deeper depression can keep us there in that place.  so you just stay in that state.  In both states, encouraging you both to  “live in it”, not really feeling the cause.


Benevolent are loving, helpful spirits.  Malevolent spirits are those out to cause harm, just for the fun of it or for their own agenda in some way.  Malevolent spirits do not want to the the staus quo change in anyway, they want to keep being able to do that for ever, as this is the way they get to avoid their emtions that are out of harmony with Love. These spirits d o not want people reliant on God, and in Harmony with God, don’t want to help Yeshua, or anybody who is starting to live in “God’s Way” here on earth.  They will do what they can to stop people moving ahead in their efforts to get away from their addictive relationships, with others, and spirits and to become more in harmony with love, and showing other people the way........  these spirits like it the way it is.   They want us to believe that Fear is the ruler, it is all mighty powerful and that Love is weak.  That is not the Truth, it is totally the other way around.  Love is powerful, not weak.  Love from just one person can counteract the rule of fear projected by millions.  They are afraid of love, they have been hurt by "Love".  They do not want to feel their hurt.

Praying for others can help, but feel into what you are praying about
I have had people in the past project what they thought was love at me, to protect me from a person & the spirits they had hanging around with them.   These friends were fearful about a situation that they perceived me to be in, and were afraid of the person & the spirits that were with that person. (quite a few years back now ).  So they decided to project "Love" and to surround me with that "love".  What I received was not a projection of Love, but of their fear, that they did not allow themselves to feel, and of course, this was my Law of Attraction, older women, & older men, parent type figures, being in fear but thinking that they were projecting caring. 
My partner at the time, told me I received it as fear, because there was something amiss in me, that they did project love & surrounded me with love. I agreed, that there was something amiss in me, but I did not agree with him that pure love was projected towards me and around me, I was learning to trust my qwn feelings rather than just believe others to be an authority.  At the time I did not know how to explain this to him though, and he was not interested in knowing what I felt to be in any truth (another Law of attraction event ) as in experiences from my childhood, from my mother’s & father’s fear projected at me, and also not believing me, and thinking that they know better than what I was feeling.  Perfect Law of Attraction event, but at the time I didn’t know about feeling my stuff......only now feeling it. 
It did not feel like love though, I realise now, because it actually was fear, it felt quite painful to me & it went to my uterus area, I didn’t want to feel my feelings of what I feel when an authority figure projects fear.  To the child in me, it feels a bit like it is my fault, a punishment that I have done something wrong........mmmmmm, like what I was projecting at my horse when she was sick, thinking that I was projecting loving & caring.   My cat alerted me to this, as I was calling out to my horse that I was worried about and could't find, in fear, he felt it as attack, and promptly attacked me back.  So writing this now, has helped me to realise, to that there is more of these type of feelings in me to feel & grieve.

This is not what a malevolent spirit wants the understanding of it’s Truth to be spread around from this understanding growing from our hearts, for when there is no more fear left inside of our souls to be felt and to feel the cause of and to finally feel the Truth of, then no more fear does exist in our soul, and this is totally true in our hearts, and fear can no longer rule us, they will be powerless, and that is their fear.
 Anyway, much of this info is from what I have experienced and leared, as I have tried to wade thogugh and find me, or what I have learned from my Guides & God, but put through my emotional filters.  But mostly promted from what I have been learning though the teachings of AJ Miller, Jesus, Yeshua.
Better to check out this website  for yourself, for way more information, on many more topics about God, Universal & Personal Truth, in mp3 file form, pdf, or how to get video format from You Tube

I wish all the best, for yourself in your own endeavours to sort through and find the answers for yourself! Milly :)

Saturday, 18 February 2012


Maybe it would have been easier to recall my feelings not long after I experienced them, but I was busy experiencing them, and now it seems I would like to remember the experience because of its beauty of the Love & Truths received.

I woke up from a dream crying from the shock of the Truth in the dream.  In the dream, Yeshua said to me said the words - I will never get to heaven.  WOAH! Hold on, but that's what I'd thought I had been working towards now for a few years?  The feeling coming to me, well it must be truely how I feel in my soul, that even when I am dead, and in the spiritworld, that I will still be so self relaint, that I wont want anyhelp that is offered to me to get to Heaven, and that I will be in that self relaint space for eternity! Which had the effect helping me to reach some very deep grief, openend up a big space of feelings inside of me I didn’t know was there.
In the dream too, I felt that my friends had moved on to a place where I could no longer go to, I saw Mary walking away, following Yeshua, some huge feeling welled up in me, a realisation of my wanting to hold onto their coat-tails, wanting to be part of their journey, and not really being in my own journey with God and my own soulmate, the realisation of the fear of how alone I feel on this path to God, that my soulmate doesn’t want to make this journey with me, and I am so afraid to step away from him and step into that unknown. 
It feels like such a lonely scary place.  I felt that I didn’t really believe how could I trust that God loved me, that I was not worth loving, that i am nothing, when mum and dad did not even love me, they wanted to take the creation from God, and change it, it was no good, not how it was.  That in reality nobody loved me or had even noticed the real me, the soul the Gift, that God had given to them.  That mum and dad did not even recognize the Gift that God had given to them, only recognising the idea of “look what I have created” with no recognition that God had anything to do in the whole scenario, that the reason why they wanted to change this perfect gift from God, was because it reminded them of how they felt when the came into awareness of themselves, and they wanted to forget it and not experience that feeling.
Feeling so alone, mum and dad, and my brother & sister did not notice ME, my soul mate does not want to recognise ME & US.  There is no real feeling of US just right now, and a feeling, that I do not belong anywhere, that I feel so empty in side, just allowing myself to feel this empty feeling, knowing & praying that this emptiness be opened, for me to dive into it and feel the deep grief well to the surface and engulf my whole being.  It did not destroy me like I feared, it felt a relief.
There was much remorse in me too, how I have treated others, as not recognising the Gift that each brings to the world,  my daughter, who I aborted, and just discarded as if she was NOTHING........................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what a realiseation.  That is the exact emotion I was avoiding when I did it, OMG!  Not treating children with equality, all of my brothers & sisters, on the planet, my friends, my "enemies" of the past, old people, males, my parents, my siblings  Not recognising the other Great Gifts of animals, plants, all the God has given us on this earth!
Feeling through the remorse of my needyness of how I have projected at others to notice me, make me feel like I am special, that I exist, so I don't have to feel how bad it feels to be me!  Oh yes, this needyness is in me so deep!  It has been a hard one to get it out of me and to stop doing!  I don't even know if it is all out of me yet or just another layer!
God’s love came to me, I could really feel this love coming from my real Mother and Father, both at the same time, after my needyness for this love had gone and I was experiencing my real grief.  God was with me all the way, through the process “talking” to me about the Gift that I am.  For the first time in my life I understood in my heart, that I am equal to every single person who is on this planet and who has ever existed, I am equal to my mother & my father, I am equal to my siblings, I can get there to God, as God made me equal to my brother & sister Yeshua & Mary, that I am not so LOWLEY, that I will never get to HEAVEN, like I felt in my soul, that I did not belong to God.  I know now, that is where I belong, with God, God “told me”, I feel it now!  After I grieved that I do not belong anywhere on this earth.
I never really experienced this truth to such an extent before!  The grief of what I believed myself to be compared to what God feels and the Truth of who I am.  I was perfect, a perfect Gift from God given to my parents, my family to the world! 
I wanted to shout the wonder of how God feels about me to the roof tops!!!! And to share with the world the wonder of the Truths that I recieved, it was all so clear!  I was filled with such Love!

I wanted to go onto facebook, tell everybody to stop what they are doing!  And just feel........feel what Yeshua and Mary are in the process of, there is something that has happened, Yeshua has moved to a place with God, and Mary is following!  The wonder of it!  Can’t you feel it!  What a Gift they are to all of humanity, to us from God.  I know them as my dear friends, after the grief of how I have not known how to be a friend, as they have been such true friends, to me!!!!!!!!