Wednesday, 21 March 2012

What An Enjoyable Way To Learn Some Truth!

Some truth that I learned while having a 2 hr blissful facial.......I was there and having the works with a beautiful lady, doing her passion, in her element, she just loved to be doing.....providing the beautiful environment for herself and her clients to enjoy, the steaming, the massage, the masks, the heavenly scented flower essences, and somewhere in it, me growing in realisation more & more, it is such a lovely gift to have a physical body to be enjoying and experiencing such a relaxing, loving treatment! Oppostite to the feelings of error, from experiences as a child in the sense that I wanted to escape my body, and go into the spirit world as a refuge, as often as I could, not really understanding the gift of what a body is (mentioned in previous posts )
My life's addiction, wanting to avoid how I feel when people are projecting their negative feelings, like anger, judgment, jealousy, blame, fears, that have entered into my damaged soul and the denial of experiencing how it feels to be me in this moment, staying in the fear & the "guilt" cycle, feeling that I am to blame, causing physical damage to my body as I get older and stay in the denial, rather than feeling my grief.   To run & hide to the only place I could get to easily, to get away from the "scarey" feelings, experiencing the spirit world by jumping out of my body, rather than staying in my body, feeling my feelings and feeling and that support that my guides can give to me while I am still in my body!!!!!  I don't have to keep running away!!!!!!
I want to stay in my body, to inhabit it myself, in my own drivers seat, I don't have to have another spirit ready to take the wheel, at any momnet, cause they miss having a body, and I don't apprectiate mine.  My feelings aren't so bad, they haven't killed me, I feel relieved, in fact blissful &  joyful when I connect with God's Truth & Love!  Actually I want to live, and  enjoy my life!!!  Every breath is a gift! 
And what a beautiful way to learn more in my heart about different spirits.... I will only go to a person who I feel that the spirits with them are of good intent, have experienced some harm in the past from going against my intuition. I still had the residue of fear of harm, dubious about having hands on treatment,  not from the facial, but some reiki that was offered to me (from reiki spirits )  I am learning to trust in my intuition more as to being aware of what spirits that I feel with people, and that are around generally.  I have also been  judgemental about some healing spirits in the past, and that they may be trying to portray themselves as God. (“I am “ type spirits ) 
I had one spirit that dug into my toe, a bit like something plugging into me, to get my attention (a spirit who did not know much about loving ways yet)  I had some beautiful healing spirits connect with me through my feelings and mention to me (reminding me) to connect with my own Guides and to also mention that to the lovely lady who was so intent with her massaging.  I felt the reiki spirits giving of their reiki, which I could choose for it to go over me like a blanket and to blot out my feelings, or I could choose to just keep connecting with myself and my feelings and experience all that there was for me to feel.  I could feel the lady’s other guides, a soulmate pair that love to help and teach others about healing, I could feel my celestial Guides there with their love for me.  There were a variety of spirits there with me, I was able to still keep in my own body, feel the difference between all the different types of spirits, feel the lovely lady who was a channel for the reiki, and pass on to her some words from the loving guides about love, reiki,  & “trying” , that you don’t need to try, or the reiki, really, just to be open to love.

When a spirit, or person is offering love to me, why would I refuse their hug, their gift to me that they freely want to give to me!  They freely told me that they were not trying to portray themselves as God, I was easily able to feel the difference between the feeling of their love and God’s love, as testament to what they were telling me!  At one moment the words to such a lovely song that all of a sudden was sung by an angelic lady’s voice, only for that particular moment, were about “thousands of Angels”, and I had wanted to hold onto my struggle, of how I had been treated by a minority of some unloving spirits!!!! This belief in me just disintergrated!!!!!
Wow, in all of this, I was being taught so many beautiful lessons about love and spirits, and how my fear has controlled my life, as in when I am afraid of one type of spirit that I have had bad experiences with, that constricts my soul from being able to benefit from  the loving influence the ability to listen to the loving guides that I have with me, my freewill choices, are clouded by my fear, and at the soul level, I then choose to be wary and afraid of any spirits. 
My celestial guides can only help in a limited way, until my will changes!  In the tearful realisation of this and the grief of how I have refused the help of loving spirits for a long time now, and how much I have stood in the way of their being able to help me.  I feel a real weight has lifted, that I am truly not alone, I am never alone, and that all I need to is to grow my trust and faith, which automatically happens as I work through my fears and listen with my heart, and that not only am I supported in Love from God, but I am so supported in Love by so many thousands, at times of loving spirits!!!!!
Like any experience,  it is personal, and we all need to experience our own for the lessons of Truth and Love to sink into our hearts and feel part of us then, and retelling the tale, seems to be intellectual in it’s telling.  But I wanted to share my appreciation that the lessons come to us in so many joyful ways too!!!  That when these joyful lessons are felt, the realisation of that when you are at-one with God, all of the Lessons of Truth and Love are gentle in their learning!
Please share some of your own, if you feel inclined!!!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Am I More Afraid of Living? Than Dying????

I don’t know if any of you been feeling into the up & coming earth changes?  Want to know some more, go to Divine Truth Seminars, on you Tube, via wizard shack, or site and look up mp3 downloads for seminar talks.  Anyway, I am coming to the conclusion that I have been afraid to live!  Not just fear that earth changes could be coming and when they may be coming, and feeling like I am too afraid to stick around, for what might happen, and not trusting in God, as to what wonders can come from these changes!!!!......but afraid of facing my fears with people, how I get treated by ones that project anger and judgement onto me, and simply feeling how I feel inside, rather than trying to cover how I feel, often with anger back.  I am afraid of TRUTH!  That person may not like me if I say it........uhhhh??? Hang on a sec, that person is already displaying that they don’t like me, at that very moment, or should I say, they don’t like how they think I MAKE them feel.
Well many of my past posts have been about death & dying, and spirits that have been with me and emotions that have come up for me.  By the way, I have had some changes in my body, my belly is no longer as big and distended like it was!!!!!! I actually looked like I was 6 months pregnant.  Now I look like I am just a bit unfit, with a little gut.

Through the Mists
Mary has a book group, we are studying “Through the Mists” at the moment, look up her blog “My Story” with blog spot for updates on this.  This is one of three books channelling a spirit called Aphrar, by Robert James Lees.   It is a little hard to read at first, but you start to get into the swing of the language.  Basically it is a book about when we die, gives us some info about what happens, and how we could actively improve our soul condition here on earth, by noticing what love is and what it does, and acting in love, for starters!  It is a lovely book that teaches us.  The book can be downloaded from
I keep coming back to saying, as a medium, pretty familiar in a sense, with the spirit world, and after having felt through some fear of dying feelings, I realise that I am not as afraid as I thought, only really about the how I die, if I will suffer, and be in great pain, will it be quick or slow, but also realising that the way I die, is what I attract to myself through my unhealed fears and beliefs.
I did actually feel that I was going to bleed to death, and nearly did, but I really feel that totally feeling into the fear of it, I then didn’t, as that fear and associated feelings exited my soul.  (there were quite a few associated feelings to do with spirits, being a female, anger towards that etc, fear of attack, which I have talked about in previous blogs)
What causes me to want to rather die? Than to live?  The big clincher, is my cause........affraid to feel my little self emotions, to be that little powerless person, who felt like I was the cause of mum’s anger, as she did the housework, cooked, cleaned, looked after us.  Not wanting to feel that I felt like I was a burden to my mother, not wanting to feel, when my mother was feeling those things, there was a withdrawal of love, the grief of that withdrawal, and when it was replaced by the feeling of attack, of anger and blame, and judgement, and the very nitty gritty of how bad I feel right there! So I pray, and tell God exactly what I am feeling, in my feeling crying words,  that when I come to this spot in my processing, that I want to stay in my body, and feel my emotions until it is all gone!  In the past I have had a habit of jumping out right at this point, out of fear of feeling mum’s rejection of me. Of course there are feelings like this with dad too, but I was with mum the majority of the time in the womb and as I was being raised as the little baby upwards.  So I have been quite comfortable with being in the spirit world, (but not really being aware of this now) going there to hide, more afraid of mum’s anger, than spirits anger!!!!!????!!!!  The spirit world as a place of refuge, as there are some very nice spirits there too!  So my soul, or some people would say “unconscious”, remembers this, even if I don’t.
Speaking Truth, Being in Truth, Acting in Truth
What is going to trigger my fear?  Speaking the truth.  The person who is angry at me may actually get angrier, and attack me with more anger, but through just allowing that, and not attacking back I may actually feel, it wasn’t so bad as I thought!  Rather than automatically taking the blame, just apologising for something that I may have not actually been responsible for, to make the other person feel better and stop attacking me.  Easier said than done! 
I still have lots of work here, and often prefer to take the blame, and not feel the actual real feelings in my soul.  I feel the avoiding feelings, the guilty feelings that keep telling me I am a “bad girl” and backing up what the other person is inferring & what my soul has been told is the truth about me, but these aren’t the real feelings.   I can be feeling these ones, till the cows come home, and no change in my soul beliefs will occur, so the same shit, next day, will keep happening.
Damage in the Spirit Body & Physical Body can change at the Soul Level, permanently!
When the emotional damage is at the stage of not just energetic damage in the chakras, in the spirit body, but physical symptoms of damage have manifested, the physical & energetic (spirit body) damage, will not change permenently until the emotional beliefs about myself change at a soul level.  Do I need to mention here again, I have noticed physical changes in my tummy area,  as a “seeing is believing”, this stuff does work!!!!!  Now........ to work through my feelings of trusting, that it won’t be taken from  me, that carrot that I hold.   Also, that even when it is proven, that a man (more mum & dad stuff to feel) will not listen to me, damaged belief.
Leap of Faith
I can pray, about any, all, with my true feelings, growing my desire, my imagination, my trust, my faith!  With my guides help, with God, my true father, the father and mother of my soul, who I actually am, that continues on, long after the physical body, that even surpasses the spirit body, that part of me that is in the image of God, and that can become immortal!
So any other fears/beliefs, that I have been taught to be afraid of, I am going to want to avoid as wel.  MMMMM, makes sense to me to take a good look really, into what am I afraid of about events, people, animals, environment etc.  There are some really great talks about fear processing & other emotions, again, on

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Shared Soul Mate Experience with Conception, Pregnancy, Birth & Breast Feeding

Talking about soul mate feelings in the last post, I now have remembered a few years ago, my partner and I were talking about soulmates, I had processed some emotions, I would have to look in my journal to give you an indication about what sort of feelings and beliefs out of harmony they were, and got into some feelings in my heart about soulmates and pregnancy. 
( I think it was something to do with feeling like as a woman, I had an ownership of the child,   that I had the “right” to not even include the male & tell him that I was pregnant with our baby, or to allow him any voice in the descision to have or have not an abortion)
It went a bit like this.......when we become at-one with the other half of our soul, our soul mate,  at this stage, I don’t know what gay coulples will be capable of creating together, but a with heterosexual soulmate pair, just imagine,  what it will be like when the male can experience the feelings of their female half, that they can feel the child growing inside, and experience exactly what the mother experiences, as they are so inter connected in their feelings!
My beautiful man was so in love with the idea that this could be possible, that this is how it could be!!!!!!  A dream come true for him.  He was a house mum, when his first wife and himself had a baby, and would have loved to feel more of a part of that "mother- child" exclusivity, to be able to experience exactly everything the woman feels, and to be so closely experiencing the child, together!