Sunday 11 December 2011

Why Do I Want to Feel Spirits Emotions, Rather Than My Own?

This Article was written in November, before
"My Addictive Relationship With Those Angry Women Spirits....."


Been working on my relationships with spirits, the ones that help me avoid my emotions. I was avoiding emotions to do with how terrible I feel about myself. The feelings that I came to this morning were something like, feeling unwanted & my fault (in mum's belly I gather). My Loa's started at Angry attacking woman at a festival (sat) and also my legs swollen up (last 2 days).
What was exposed to me on Sat was that I didn't want to feel my fear of the angry attacking woman, my feelings were simply that it was my fault she was angry, that I avoided. She had directed her anger at Tony, my partner though but wanting everyone to feel her rage too. Then I noticed I was angry, that I joined in with the angry women spirits to get approval from them, by trying to blame the man for my feelings (his fault I feel this way, cause he did something to upset her (mum & dad stuff, about cigarettes, alcohol, having to make the money stretch, when I got into it the next day ), Glad though that I noticed the truth of how I act.

The what we do in our sleep state talk, mmm I know what I do, hang around with angry women, trying to not feel that it is my fault, and to please them, and blame others by joining in with them and attacking whoever they are angry with. Some are angry with men, some are angry with mothers, some are mothers angry at women who have not had children, some are angry with children. There are all sorts of groups of angry women. There is a war going on out there between the camps of women! Thinking each is better (driven by their rebellion of what happened to them when they were on earth) Opposing groups of women, my Law of Attraction for me to get to what is in my soul.

It was a real eye opener to realise that I had been attacked by angry women spirits since in the womb, learned to fear their attack, to do as I was told, surrender my life to their control. Not knowing where the boundaries of me, mum, them, these type of feelings. There was lots of confusion & fear.

Big truths that I learned through the process, wow, what a great way to learn! It is all there for us. And thank you AJ & Mary!!! I am still alive, they didn't kill me and haven't been able to yet, I must be made of awesome stuff.

There is more of a distinction now which bit is a spirit overcloaking me, the moment of the overcloaking, the awful feeling of the darker spirits soul condition when it cloaks me! That the fear, and grief is actually easier to feel, than the terrible feeling inside that persons soul!!!!!!

I was feeling compassion for the lady that overcloaked me, it was a terrible feeling to have inside 24/7 when I told Tony about what I discovered. I have noticed that moments of my life have been coming up easier for me now, to feel the remorse of how I have treated that other person unlovingly. It feels like the inner egg is oozing out. There is a hole in that bit of facade eggshell.

There is more egg in there to come out and hard facade to be broken with the realisation of Truth. I want it more from my soul. Looking at spirit infulence & obsession & possession stuff, and noticing how much of the talks I cannot remember, must have been out of body at the time.

Getting into how I truthfully feel about God, great talks of late how we view God. Also ones about Faith, Courage,Trust, the darker spirits just drop away when I am feeling these.

We are so lucky to have this information on how to go about it, to find out logically and emotionally the Truth, that God, via AJ & Mary are giving to us. Looking forward to the day when I am authentically me!

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