Just picture in your heart, this image, given to me from my Guides! A beautiful bushy , leafy green strawberry plant, doing what it loves to do....growing, receiving nourishment from the soil the sun and the clouds, provided by God, it’s passion is to flower, which it just does, naturally, so easily! Also it then grows fruit from the flower! This strawberry plant just does it’s passion in life, in it’s passion, grows & gives, grows and gives!
And that to me is how simple giving the gift of your passion is.
When we are in our passion and desire and we are giving our Gift of ourselves to others, and are in harmony with God’s Love, in that passionate, open loving, desirous place we are connected to God’s Love, receiving God’s nurturing , Nourishing Love.
My experience of this just on the weekend, I have been praying to know more how do I, in this not perfect emotionally injured state give my Gift to others?
The Summer Concert, the auditions on the Saturday, I learned, when I am feeling fearful, that I project my fears onto an audience, and I want them to make me feel safe. I talk to them and I set up my security blanket. This unloving demand goes out to them, so I am taking, rather than Giving, and to come into harmony with Love, I had to work through my fear of what my soul believed about how people would treat me, release my grief of whatever happened when I was a child when I did give my Gift of Love.
On the Sunday morning, these fears and grief did come up for me to process. It was a bit flavoured like this.....
Affraid of spirits, judging me and telling me that I really don’t have much to cry about compared to other people’s and me a the child, children’s lives, who have had way worse things happen than what I have. So I had a layer of judgement, on top of my emotions, fear of the spirits anger at me, grief & fear stored in my body just coming out, with feelings like, I am not noticed when I do give my gift of Love that I do have already in me, or I am punished in some way, when I do not do what that parent wants, or when I do what that parent wants, I do not receive love, the bullying just stops, and feelings like, I feel like a piece of furniture. I had some remorse for how I have treated others as pieces of furniture. It seemed to be an emotion also that had a very male aspect to it, may have been a feeling that dad was feeling, like a piece of furniture, as it seemed quite clear to me that I treat Tony and Mick (the male dog) like they may as well be a piece of furniture.
I had realisations inside my heart( this is the space I have been so wanting to get to emotionally, rather than just intellectually), that mum and dad had the amount of “love” inside of them that they only knew, and also cut myself some slack in my heart, that I have an amount of “love” in my heart to give, as I am at with it, that I and they are by no means perfect, but there was and is some form of nurturing that they were, and I am now capable of......I have been judging myself quite harshly and unable to get past the resentment with my parents, particularly mum.... ( without the spirits telling me, demanding that I should feel good about the “love” that mum and dad had to give, and be greatfull for what I was given, and the justification of that it was a great deal more than many other children had )
I did learn also how to own my fear in the afternoon , a bit more too, when I was getting ready to perform, I was in the dunny just feeling and praying admitting how I did have some fear in my body, rather than ignoring it, or just sitting in it.
I got really hot after one of the performances, I assumed at the time it was because I really put my all into it, but on reflecting, maybe I also processed a bit of shame.
Also I have noticed today, Monday, that I am not looking as anaemic and yellow as I have been looking, recently. On Sunday, I didn’t seem to have any worry about not having enough energy to perform, for the heavier rock song. I feel that I was connected to my body, was in my body, my passion in singing, wanting to give the Gift, I owned the fear, the spirits had nothing to cling onto, (I did not go out of body, and feel a bit distant to what I was doing, as the day before, playing the guitar, I couln’t see the chords properly and I my voice went a bit off)
And I received Gods Love while in my passion. I was feeling quite nourished by God’s Love.
How awesome is God’s system of learning, backed up by our Guides, by Yeshua and Mary, here on earth! And how powerful is my soul, to attract all of that to me, I must want to learn and to grow and to give my strawberry gifts!
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